Showing posts with label blackwoman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blackwoman. Show all posts
Is It Just Me?
Is it just me or does the fact that Rashida Jones only takes roles in which you find yourself questioning is she supposed to be white, slightly bothersome. I liked "I Love You Man" it was a good laugh. What I found odd was the complete absence of anything remotely ethnic when Rashida was on screen. I find myself wondering if this is a real life remake of Imitation of Life. Does anyone else feel this way or am I reaching?
Bye-Bye Miss Independent
Independence is something that was frequently espoused in my home. My mom wanted to make sure I would be self-sufficient, that I could handle business on my own in other words be independent. I think this message has derailed a lot of relationships even though it is well intentioned. Before my husband and I married we had some really good pre-martial counseling from the folks over at OCBF. They had us fill out a book that had different scenarios in it separately, we came back to class the next week and we exchanged books our answers were completely different. My results in particular presented a need to be in charge and need to feel in control and to drive the results of those scenarios. My husbands were the same the only problem according to our counselor I was out of ORDER. (Ok at this point I’m about ready to chunk the deuce and say we need to find somebody else). The whole independent movement would have broken our marriage apart before we even started AND it ever nearly did during our dating stages.
Men need to feel needed period. They are a lot more vulnerable and sensitive than they or we believe them to be. My husband’s favorite saying is “you have to let a man be a man”. It took me two and half years into our relationship to fully understand what he meant. There are still times when it is difficult for me to let go and let him handle a situation especially when I would do it differently. There have been many times when I have almost bit my tongue in two to keep my opinions or criticisms to myself. However, the times that I completely let go and trust him even when it does not turn out the way we expect, the road to correcting our mistake is a lot easier without a tug-of-war.
Placing your trust in an individual is beyond terrifying. Too often we are willing to trust an individual with our bodies but not with our emotions or place confidence in their ability to take care of us. This is a mistake. If you don’t trust the individual you are with to provide for you and be able to hold it down then you are wasting your time and his.
Miss independent went out the window during our counseling sessions. I wanted to be taken care of but was afraid of admitting that I needed someone, afraid to place complete trust in my soon to be husband. I was faced with the choice of keeping a defense wall and losing a man that I know loves me and I love. After our counseling was over there was a huge change in our relationship. I let go and I gave in. I trust my husband I don’t agree with every decision he makes but I trust that he has OUR best interest at heart. He trusts me enough to talk about every decision prior to making that final decision he listens to my suggestions. So when something does not turn as we expected it was our decision not his or mine, but ours.
There are definite benefits to letting Miss independent go you are no longer alone in making decision, I hate paying bills my husband takes care of most of that, he is open with the accounts I don’t have to worry about him tricking off our money, and he makes sure that I am safe secure and will be taken care of in the event that anything should happen to him.
This is Our Day.
Yesterday symbolized the close of the age of Equality. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his supporters (my grandparents generations) fought for that equality. My mother born in 1960 reaped the benefits from their generations fight. This was an age that will never be forgotten but it closed yesterday.
As the sun set on one age it began to rise and brightly shine on the age of Responsibility. I don’t look for Barack and Michelle to solve our community’s problems. However, I look for them to demand that we actively serve one another and that we become the solution. Today, at noon I like so many others will watch the Inauguration of the nations first President of Color. I will shed some tears and hold today in my heart like so many before me held their memories of King and Kennedy.
This age of Responsibility begins within each individual; the Obama’s call to service yesterday was only the beginning. In this age I look and fervently hope that there will be a reduction in the number of incarcerations of black men and women. With responsibility I look for families to tough it out and even when that becomes impossible I look for them to remain active in rearing their children. I have high hopes, for this is my generation and I don’t plan on letting it go without a fight. In saying that I have decided to explore my options and become a teacher. I have yet to decide if I will be a classroom teacher or a community health organizer but either way come August I will begin my service. Thank you to Barack and Michelle for reminding us all that there is no greater sense of self-worth than helping out your fellow man.
The Fate of Divorced African Women
Women who are divorced in Africa are "thrown out of their homes, lose custody [of their children], and many end up destitute." Hisbah (a religious -Muslim Police)are said to strongly suggest the Association of Divorcees, Widows, and Orphans not continue with their planned demonstration on January 29th. The Hisbah is denying demonstration by the women because it is against Muslim law and violates the moral norm for the people of Kano. Kano is the third largest city in Nigeria. Sunday Trust, the Hisbah deputy commander-general operations also stated that the rally would led to the ridicule of Kano in the eyes of the world. The Hisbah believes the divorcees must realized that there are better ways of addressing the issue of divorce.
The Beauty of Natural Hair
Just thought I would share some of my favorite youtube videos on locks and natural hair. I would also like to say that I received two compliments today on my locs YEAH! The are coming along and I will do another post when I get them retwisted in January. I am hoping to stretch my retwist to 5 to 6 weeks so that I will have a healthy hairline. I would rather deal with fuzzies than have to combine a bunch of locs down the road. Speaking of combining there are three in the front that I want to make larger so when I go back to my loctician I will have her do that so I can avoid the two headed dragons.
The first video is inspirational, I look at this video often so that I can stay focused on my goal. The second video features Goapele's music, an artist that does not get enough play.
The changing image of Black Women
I received this article by Erin Aubry Kaplan from Shawn over at
Dallas South.
I read it and loved it. In quick summary the article is about Michelle’s Donk!
The article goes on to say that a bountiful posterior has been “both vilified and fetishized as the most singular of all black female features”. I always felt the election of Barack would pale in comparison to the elevation of his wife to First Lady. I love the fact that Michelle has a dark complexion that she has a figure that has long been considered less than aesthetically pleasing according to Hollywood or mainstream magazines.
It is my greatest hope that with Michelle as the First Lady that Black women will be able to take confidence and pride in knowing a woman that finally looks like one of us will set the stage for how the world views Black women.
Black women have had few constant role models in the media. Mental imagery is exceptionally compelling. When the constant image is objectification and overt sexuality it becomes harder for younger impressionable girls to delineated reality from make believe.
The constant image that young Black women are bombarded with are the Melissa Ford’s, Buffy the body, etc… For some that have no male figures in their life these women are seen as powerful in control of their sexuality (when they are not, regardless of what they say). Even Jet magazines still has their beauty of the week segment; seriously the only beauties they can find are wrapped in string bikinis. Can women not be beautiful unless they are half naked? I don’t understand why JET can not showcase a beautiful woman that is fully clothed with an actual job besides student or model as their description.
YEAH ME! Baby locs
I have started the loc process and I am very excited. Almost more excited than when I made the decision to go natural 2 years ago. During that time I learned a lot about myself and I am looking forward to learning what I can from my lock journey. Right now my head is starting to look a mess in about another week in a half I have no doubt that it will be a hot mess. However, I am ready to embrace these hurdles and preserve. My locktician (Regina) says with the majority of my hair texture that it should not take long for my hair to lock, but she also warned that I am going to have a lot of fuzziness because my hair is also so soft. So anyway here are two pics one from the first week and one now, I plan on visiting Regina for a re-twist the last week in November. 
I know everybody’s locs are different and are a direct representation of who they are and I can not wait to see what story my locs will say about me. I would also like to say that my husband is COMPLETELY supportive of this process. We have watched countless YouTube videos; he has even browsed through some of the books that I bought. And I am sooooo happy that I have his support. Because I have no doubt that I am going to need it in the next 2-4 months.
Ya’ll wish me well on my journey.
Oh and I have slightly over a hundred baby locs on my head, I think when I go back I will have her combine 4 of them.
Let me reintroduce myself: My name is Michelle Obama
Caroline Kennedy’s introduction of her Uncle, Ted Kennedy, was an excellent prelude to the dynamic speeches to follow for the remainder of the evening. America has at times a morbid fascination and genuine fascination with the Kennedy family. I remember when JFK Jr. died, that was the beginning of my sophomore year in college, and I was truly saddened and felt that the world had lost a genuine light. When Ted Kennedy took the stage last night and gave his speech whether you like the man or not you had to respect his tenacity and his ability to delivery with temerity a rousing opening for the DNC.
Then the star of the show Michelle Obama took center stage. I am always impressed with her whenever she speaks. I have never felt that she was cold or unfeeling Michelle exudes confidence and strength. If there was ever any doubt to her or Barack’s commitment to this country hopefully those foolish thoughts have been laid to rest. Below are pieces of Michelle’s electrifying speech.
"And you know, what struck me when I first met Barack was that even though he had this funny name, even though he'd grown up all the way across the continent in Hawaii, his family was so much like mine."
"And Barack and I set out to build lives guided by these values, and to pass them on to the next generation. Because we want our children -- and all children in this nation -- to know that the only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them."
"And Barack stood up that day, and spoke words that have stayed with me ever since. He talked about "The world as it is" and "The world as it should be." And he said that all too often, we accept the distance between the two, and we settle for the world as it is -- even when it doesn't reflect our values and aspirations. But he reminded us that we also know what our world should look like. He said we know what fairness and justice and opportunity look like. And he urged us to believe in ourselves -- to find the strength within ourselves to strive for the world as it should be. And isn't that the great American story?"
The story of the Obama’s is definitely a story that is only capable in the United States it is one of perseverance and respect. Their evident love for one another and their family commitment are added bonuses that this country would do well to have as our head leadership.
Should HIV/AIDS be viewed as a Chronic Illness?
HIV/AIDS is often compared to other chronic illness which, in my opinion could pose a problem for intervention. By definition HIV/AIDS does fall into the Chronic illnesscategory because it to date still remains incurable. However, with the increase in HIV/AIDS AIDS infection rates among Black women maybe a different terminology should be used to convey the seriousness of living with HIV/AIDS and its complications.
HIV/AIDS is unlike any other disease recorded in history. It’s mechanism of infection of seek and destroy, at present has made it difficult to create an effective system of containment. Health educators can teach the importance of self protection but for many they, are still willing to participate in risky behavior. Dr. Berkley believes that because HIV/AIDS is now becoming viewed as a chronic problem treatable with antiretrovirals, and the fact that less than 10 percent of people who are infected know their status makes interventions for prevention and treatment difficult (Koop, Pearson, & Schwarz, 2002).
It is my personal belief that a lack of self appreciation and gender respect helps to proliferate the spread of HIV/AIDS. Women often find themselves placing the needs of others above their own. The mental and emotional stress from this mentality has lead to a neglect of self, which in some ways are allowing HIV/AIDS to invade at high rates.
Two Local Organizations:
SAAVED
AIDs Interfaith Network Faith Based
Information for those looking to fund a HIV/AIDS program
National Prevention Information Network
Cross post located atDallas South
Which Should Come First?
Which comes first my womanhood or my blackness? This is a debate that I have had within myself since my sophomore year in college. A debate that I discuss often among my friends. Can you be a woman of color and differing ethnicity and separate these traits from your womanhood or must one take precedent above the other.
I remember reading the Invisible Man in college and often felt invisible myself and wondered who if anyone has so eloquently written the story of the invisible black woman.
Who do I belong to first? Who am I? Who needs me the most: the black community or women? I have come to the conclusion for me the two are inseparable. I am not one without the other; my womanhood is shaped by my race. I am unable to separate blackwoman into two words.
Are there any other race/ethnicity of women/men that go through this struggle or do I alone battle with reconciling these feelings?
Cross post located atDallas South
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