She’s joking but she’s really in pain. I have been very lucking in my marriage that I get along with most of my in-laws except one. In the beginning my husband’s youngest aunt and I would just do the head nod and keep it moving. One evening I decided to skip dinner because I knew she was going to be there and I didn’t feel like being tied in knots all evening. Well when my husband (fiancé) at the time came home I could tell something was wrong right away. Knowing my husband he needs a day or two to mull over the problem before he confides in me. A few days later he told me he had to have a talk with his aunt at the dinner because he didn’t like some of the things she was saying or how she was treating me. While he is talking I am doing figurative cartwheels in my head and I fell in love with him all over again. My husband is so close with his family that I know it took an incredible amount of nerve for him to possibly even consider severing ties with a member of his family.
A brief aside: Marriage in itself is rough enough without the interference of in-laws. There will be those days you ask why did I get married, better yet why did I marry this person. Perfect example, my husband did something today that he knows will set me off its really very trivial but dammit it irritates me. I get up to fill the dog’s bowl I come back to the kitchen and he is eating my food, BEFORE I get a chance to taste it. I don’t mind sharing but can I please taste it first. Hell he doesn’t know the meaning of bite or sip he consumes. Damn I am getting mad all over again just typing about it.
Anyway, I firmly believe it is your spouse’s duty to confront some out of order family member. My mom had a really hard time excepting my husband because we starting dating my senior year in college and she just knew I was going to give up everything I was working towards “for some man” her words. I actually skipped going home on breaks to keep from having to listen to her harangue him (when she had never met him, we were only dating at the time and only so-so serious). Finally I called in my granny and asked her to get mom to lay off. Now hell, most of the time my family doesn’t care if I come home or not as long as my husband stops in for a visit. Sickening really. I can honestly say that each of our families care and respect us and our spouses and that makes all the difference in the world.
My BFF was married for six months before she filed for divorce. I firmly believe the divorce could have been prevented had each of them placed their families in check from jump. As it is Mr. Man and I are coming up on five years and besides the occasional Gawd you get on my nerves, I guess I really can’t complain too much. Besides it helps living by my mom’s golden rule “never get involved in family squabbles, never.”
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