Because I said so

This post was inspired by this YouTube video and an email conversion. The person I was conversating (yes I know that is not a real word but it’s funny that’s why I use it) with said the following:

If I were put in a situation where I was going
to come back with either a story of hilarious failure or ultimate win
and my friends didn't encourage me to go for it, I would get new
friends

I on the other hand completely disagreed. You don’t let friends make a complete fool of themselves on purpose, without at least attempting to sway their mind. Said person then went on to say

I am not responsible for your self esteem issues. Really, when you
can laugh at yourself, then you are in a comfortable place

I don’t think this person meant the “responsible for your self esteem issues” to sound as callous as it did, then again maybe so (side eye). To make a long story even longer I have decided to share the most embarrassing moment of my life. Keep in mind nothing could have been more traumatic to a young country girl fresh outta West Texas and nothing has since “the incident”.

Background. During a fire alarm you have to vacate immediately from the dorms regardless of your state of dishabille. Almost everyone is a broke college student therefore, the threat of a 75 dollar fine will surely cause you to go hungry for a month. Just think of all the top ramen and msg packets you can buy with 75 dollars.

It was a beautiful fall day on campus the leaves had completed their magical transformation from green to bright golds and deep reds. The girls and I will be hanging with some of the guys at the Roo pub later that evening so I head to the shower to freshen up. I’m in the shower enjoying the nice hot water and high water pressure (only me and one other chick in the shower, so not competing for water pressure) then BAM!

BOOM BOOM BOOM someone is knocking on the door like they the police (which it was) screaming “out of the shower this is a fire drill”. I’m thinking to myself screw that. He pokes his head in “out of the shower now”. At that point I know he means business I don’t even bother rinsing the rest of the suds off. I grab my huge fluffy hot pink towel wrap up and head out of the shower. My flip flops are soaked and it is hella difficult to walk in wet flip flops.

Of course during a fire drill you can’t take the elevator so I am heading towards the stairs with my friends ass clowning me. When this really nice girl who I had previous beef with dips into her room which is right next to the stair well and tosses me a robe. As I reach to grab the robe, my flip flop snaps I’m falling down the damn stairs and my towel is off. I live in an all girls dorm which means boys are their all the time. Yep that’s right I end up naked and wet with my raw ass resting on concrete steps desperately trying to hold onto a sliver of Martha Stewarts big towel. UGH! Talk about the worst. You all have no idea the amount of snatch jokes I had to endure for a week. And my BFF the heffa that she is could not wait to publish a newsletter with ass as the butt of the joke. I can only thank God
that happened in 99 before YouTube and camera phones.

The point in reliving that horror is because the person I was emailing is under the mistaken impression that laughing at oneself is innate. For the majority of situations I agree you should be able to laugh at yourself. I’m clumsy I fall and trip a lot so I am used to laughing at myself however tripping and ending up buck ass naked is no laughing matter. “The incident” happened ten years ago and only a few years ago was I able to keep from visibly cringing as my BFF would take immense pleasure in relating that story to anyone who would listen. Something’s come with maturity and age and distance from the subject this was one such event.

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Oh damn. I look at my nieces and nephews as black. I have never said that to them but I definitely view them as black kids. I think that is mainly because they spend most of their time with our side of the family. This clip came out of left field for me. My lovely and wonderful niece asked my mom a week ago what color was she. My mom asked her what color would you like for me to be, my niece said blue. My mother's reply was well then I'm blue.

My mom let us find out about race at school she never brought it up until then. I think this is a mistake and obviously someone is speaking to niece about it. We, meaning the adults in our family might need to have a talk about what discussion to have with the kids and when.

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You can find this post located at Dallas's first non-profit news site called Dallas South News later today or tomorrow morning.

Much has been said of the need of father or male role model in a young boy’s life. I often feel as if the need of a father is neglected or rarely seen as a significant for little girls. A mom can do many things for young girl. A mother can teach her daughter the proper way to conduct herself as a lady, she can teach her about Femininity, and coach her through the grand discovery of womanhood (i.e. menstruation). Yet, there is something mistakenly pivotal in the relationship between a father and his daughter.

My mother and father divorced while my brothers and I were reaching that critical stage of realization that something or someone was missing. Fortunately, for us our grandparents stepped in and shouldered the burden of a newly single and divorced mother of three. While my mother grappled with beginning to start a new life on her own with minimal skills and rearing the three of us my grandparents were there.

My fondest memory of my grandfather occurred when I was in the eighth grade I was being inducted into the National Honor Society for the first time. My mother had purchased a god-awful black dress with a million and one flowers on it reminiscent of the floral background to one of my granny’s couches. I wore ruffled socks, and black patent leather shoes, while channeling my inner Sally Jesse Raphael (I had red glasses at the time). I burst out crying I thought I looked horrible. I was already much taller than many of the other girls in school so I felt like an oversized walking flower display with buck teeth. I don’t know if my pawpaw heard me crying but when I went to the living room to show off my ugly dress he said “you sure look pretty tonight, I’m proud of you”. I went from instant ugly duckling to believing I was going to be the prettiest girl inducted into the National Honor Society later that evening.

Growing up without a father was extremely painful in particular for my middle brother who I will never forget cried one night to my granny “why doesn’t my dad want me”. Children internalized and present their hurt differently. For me I was able to channel the missing father into a fierce desire to always outperform anyone else for others it manifest itself in the form of acting out, an all to familiar cry for attention.

I am so proud of my brothers; I can only believe that the role our grandfather played in our early lives had a profound affect on their interaction with their children today. My middle brother is so careful with his daughter; I have never seen someone so protective of another tiny being. My baby brother is treated like the greatest man alive by his kids. He was deployed for a year and despite their young age they remembered him running screaming daddy, daddy, daddy throwing themselves at his legs.


I miss my grandfather. He missed some very important events in my later life like, my college graduation and he missed walking me down the aisle at my wedding. As my little brother escorted me down the aisle I began crying, imagining my grandfather placing my hand in my husbands while kissing my cheek and telling me to be happy. His physical presence was missed but I believe his spirit was there that day like so many days before.

Men you were given the role of protector and provider. Remember your role and the importance God has placed on you, your families are in need of you. I have an unwavering belief that the coming generation will see a turn around in the number of active fathers, my brothers, and so many more men give me hope.

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Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie said he did serious "soul-searching" regarding Vick. The owner said he met with Vick for hours and is convinced he can become a force in stopping animal cruelty.

"I needed to see a lot of self-hatred in order to approve this," Lurie said.

Self-Hatred, really!? I hope they Eagles loose every game this season and that's not just because I am a Cowboys fan. Do I think Vick is full of penitentiary talk, yep sure do. I think he has learned his lesson in regards to dog-fighting, but when the money starts back rolling in will he remains so humble, I doubt it. He served his time get over it! If Donte Stallworth can commit manslaughter and receive less of a public crucifiction, Vick deserves no less.

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The health care debate has sparked more than discussion it has devolved into a full fledge battle between what is seen as a stepping stone toward socialism and a step away from free enterprise.

Research confirms children with full insurance coverage whether private or public have lower rates of unmet healthcare needs than children with no insurance or intermitted insurance coverage (Olson, Tang, & Newacheck, 2005). Most often the health care debate centers around the 40 million people who are counted as uninsured. However, there are possibly millions more that are just as stringently affected by a lack of healthcare characterized as underinsured and intermittently insured individuals.

I am not sure where the visceral reaction emanates. People seem unaware that they pay for a government run option already, County hospitals are supported by taxpayers as well as Medicaid and Medicare. The current public option is crippling healthcare systems across the nation and reform is needed. Emergency rooms are used as primary health care facilities. People flood the ER with non-emergent care issues causing tremendous wait times leading to deaths in some cases. It appears that with the growing concern of a government run public option the White House seems to back peddling on its drive to push a public option.


The public option originally proposed by the White House appears to be undergoing a compromise in which the public option will become a consumer-owned nonprofit coop, in keeping with free enterprise. The government funded option has been touted as a step towards socialism however, providing an option to the current monopoly private insurances hold on health care is the essence of free enterprise. If companies choose to embrace a public option it makes the market more competitive. I don’t believe it will cheapen health care or inhibit technological progress.

The progressively worsening health of Americans can be directly attributed to a lack of preventative care associated with preventable deaths (McGlynn et al., 2003). The loudest protestation for the public option is the quality of health care would suffer. According to a study conducted by McGlynn et al. between 1998 and 2000 on average Americans receive only half of the recommended medical processes they are in need of currently. What many people do not dispute in health care administration is the need for an overhaul in establishing a national baseline for performance making it possible to assess policy changes and evaluate efforts to improve the quality of care (McGlynn et al., 2003).

Our current state of health care is unconscionable and is far from representative of an international power in my opinion. if we are the best we should be able to provide the best to all of Americans and develop a health care system that is enviable to other nations. As a nation we provide some of the best quality once provided it is however, the obtainment of said care that needs addressing and the delivery of payment for the procurement of services.

References:

McGlynn, E. A., Asch, S.M., Steven, M., Adams, J., Kessey, J., Hicks, J., et al. (2003). The quality of health care delivered to adults in the United States. New England Journal of Medicine, 348(26), 2635-2645.

Olson, L.M., Tang, S.S.,& Newacheck, P. W. (2005). Children in the United States with discontinuous health insurance coverage. New England Journal of Medicine 00284793, 353(4).

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H/T to my girl Siditty.

Disgusting! I want to very badly beat the living shit out of this mother. If anyone should understand or even come close to understanding rape it should be a woman. This mother has decided to ignore the fact that her 8 year old child was gang raped by four boys ages 9-14. Not only has she denied the child was raped she goes on to say she deserved what happened to her. Needless to say the child has been ostracized and is currently in the care of child protective services. The family is Liberian and in some African countries women are often blamed or said to have brought the unwanted attention on. Well this is America take your bitch ass back to Africa if you want to pull that shit. I hope they lock the mother and father up as well.

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I am really looking forward to Chris Rock’s movie Good Hair. The clips are showing lots of good material about weaves and perms. I hope he does an in depth segment on natural hair or unprocessed hair. There is one particular clip I laughed at every time and that is does your wife let you touch her hair? The answer HELL NAW! Whew I swear to Gawd my husband, when I was permed, never touched my hair unless it was the night before I went to the salon.

To this very day my husband is so trained he still won’t touch my hair unless I physically place his hand on my head. I still remember those wasted Saturday’s at the salon; I would get there at 6 or 7 in the morning and leave at 4 in the afternoon. I was an every week person at 40 dollars a week and 120 for perm and dye job every 5th week. When I did wear a weave it would cost anywhere from 300 to 450 depending on the hair. I was breaking bread at the salon.


I won’t say I became enlightened, but something just happened one Saturday morning and I decided I didn’t want to waste my time anymore. I asked Angie (the bomb stylist if you are in Dallas) to cut it off. She asked one time if I was sure I said yes and she went to work. I started at the same stage Solange is now and kept loose naps about two years.

Starting into my third year I decided to loc it up. I have been locked for 8 months and no complaints. I am about 80% locked I still have a ways to go before I hit the mature stage, but by my lociversary I should be completely locked. My family was extremely supportive of my decision to go natural most of them are technical naturals they just do the press n’ curl. Whereas, my husband and his family it took them a minute to come around or rather until I actually had enough hair on my head that I looked like a woman again. Now my husband loves my locks.


The only regret I have is that I did not do this sooner. If I run from rain now it’s not because I think my hair will mess up it’s because I don’t want to get wet. I no longer worry about humid days, matter of fact my hair loves humidity now. I just don’t worry about my hair anymore. I let my loctitican tighten me up every month or two in between I wash and go, easy.

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• Mr. Man
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Why is the former 1st Black President in North Korea? I can think of a more important place that he could be negotiating the release of a captive What about Pfc. Bowe Bergdahl? I have heard that soldiers are only captured if they are doing something wrong. Bergdahl was reportedly drunk or lagging behind on patrol whatever the case, I think he deserves our attention more than two glory seeking journalist.

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A couple of times a year I partake in self-torture a few months back I decided to step it up to full scale self-mutilation. When I went to the initial consultation I was told that the pain level would be similar to having a tattoo. My tattoo experiences have all been pleasant no complaints and in some pain there can be pleasure (I’m just sayin). Anywho, I went today for my test “patch” in electrolysis hair removal and I was lied to. Them bitches lied. Lied, I say, I have never had a tattoo that could even rival the amount of pain I have suffered. I have an ice pouch resting on my good good. I have no idea how I will make it through a full treatment let alone the complete course. I keep telling myself relax relate release that it’s not that bad. Hell, I need to replace my ice pack.

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I just finished listening to Maxwell’s BLACKsummer’s night… I think I’m pregnant. Oh Lawd! Yes, he is back. I think a very high percentage of black women in America are half in love and in full lust for Maxwell. The first joint Bad Habits is classic vintage Maxwell a great way to open the CD. Of course Pretty Wings was a great way to whet the appetite for months as we eagerly awaited the release of Maxwell after an 8 year hiatus. The track Help Somebody had a smooth blues feel. Love You: I was not expecting the quick tempo with a song title as Love You but the lyrics worked helped along with Maxwell’s sensual sound. Not a single song needs to be skipped in fact the CD ended much too soon. I am anxiously awaiting part II of the forth coming trilogy. Welcome back Maxwell.


BTW, afro or no Maxwell can “GET IT”, whenever, wherever, whatever (for the Maxwell STANS).

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