The Flip Side of Miss Independent
This is the flip side to Miss Independent if you have not read it then I suggest you start here first.
The Miss Independent role has been embraced by many women but I wonder are women being forced into this role. Video after video after video(this song will be revisited on a later post) by men are saying they want an independent woman. The messages are mixed. Black women and other women of color are often forced into independent roles due to lack of male leadership. Some men are looking for a caretaker and a woman that is finically independent so that they don’t have to come out of their pocket. Materialism is eating away at the fabric of all American lives. A lot of relationships are being reduced to what can you do for me. Not pointing fingers but when you have pervasive messages coming from the male population that they want an Independent Woman can you really blame women for trying to give you what you are loudly asking for in public.
There is a lot of history behind the Independent Woman movement history that I share with a lot of women. Many of our fathers were absent or not the best role models. As much as I love my grandfather he did not always take care of business and that forced my grandmother into grind mode which she passed along. Grinding is what women are used to doing to keep their families together. If men want a soft and cuddly woman then it’s time to put your money where your mouth is. I say money because money is part of what it takes for women to feel secure another part is grind. Does a man have enough grind in him to constantly be on his hustle? It does not take a lot of money (because most of us are self-sufficient) but it takes an attitude I’m willing to do (within the legal realm) whatever it takes to make this work. There are many women that are waiting to switch roles but they have to have that man that inspires trust and stability.
So Kofi you co-signed on the previous post where you at on this one?
I agree and the message that I wish to direct towards readers is this:
Do not lay down and submit to weak men.
Weak men must be crushed, actually (this is the only way for these fools to step their game up and "Make the World a Better Place" for everybody).
But when the woman meets the man that is actually in control - handling business (financially, physically, intellectually, and spiritually (regardless of denomination - focus and execution is the mark of a good spirit); she should submit and let this man accept the leadership role.
If not, he will be gone.
The caveat lies when women select the wrong men to follow, actually rewarding the weak and punishing the strong.
Kofi, what can I say you nailed it.
I was talking about these "Independent" songs to a friend when we were coming from the beach. It is was that song by Neyo "I love her cause she got her own..." And though his voice sounded sweet and melodious I had to say "Hold up is that the only reason you love her, is because she got her own?" Men aren't really men anymore, even though I believe that women in this day and age should be financially stable, what if a woman gets married and wants to stay at home with her children? What happens to "Miss Independent"? Can a man be strong enough, and capable of supporting HIS family if the wife "opts out" career wise as many women are doing?
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